I like this song. It's by October Fall. Barely anyone's heard of them, which is sad, because their album was pretty good.
-take my innocence away, we'd barely notice anyway.
i figure that i need to do A Proper Blogpost for once.
Right, this week.
I've met up with Luke and Emma this week. It was good. I didn't realise how much I'd missed either of them. Luke and I met this crazy cat lady who showed us her ducks and so we called her cat Tabitha. She was pretty cool. Emma and I had a picnic. It was fun. I like Emma. She's cool.
I went a bit weird on Dan & Lorren that night though - I'm not sure whether it was the fact I'd been drinking that night or whether everything just got to me. It's all been a little stressful to be honest. I think only Dan, and maybe Lorren, know the whole thing really. They're cool.
-i don't want to be anything you forget.
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. And I think I've made up my mind. But yeah, I dunno. I think it's too late.
-they won't forget you in the end.
That's just life.
Sunday, 23 August 2009
Monday, 17 August 2009
five favourite...
wild world - cat stevens
share it with me - family force five
hot mess - cobra starship
your call - secondhand serenade
here it goes - jimmy eat world
songs this week
wild world - cat stevens
"it's breaking my heart that you're leaving,
baby i'm grieving"
baby i'm grieving"
share it with me - family force five
"you've already broken my heart.
i'd like to keep at least one piece."
i'd like to keep at least one piece."
hot mess - cobra starship
"got me hypnotized
the city's your play ground"
the city's your play ground"
your call - secondhand serenade
"i was born to tell you i love you
and i am torn to do what i have to."
and i am torn to do what i have to."
here it goes - jimmy eat world
"lights go down
everything is yours to lose"
everything is yours to lose"
Saturday, 15 August 2009
'cause when you're fifteen, someone tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them.
THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE.
STORIES OF FAME
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2560251/2/High_School_The_Bet
"TJ shrugged. "He's upset that you didn't tell us you were gay earlier."
Rodgers frowned. "I wasn't gay earlier."
TJ shook his head. "You really are hopeless, you know?""
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2322849/1/FrankInLove
"He didn’t kiss Flea or Gill, but I couldn’t blame him. Kissing Flea on the cheek would probably make him cough up a hairball later, and I figured kissing Gill would be kind of slimy. And anyway, I was his best friend.
He started kissing me on the cheek whenever we’d meet up, and I got a little weirded-out again until I remembered that I was a cool, modern guy. Lots of European guys did that kissy double-cheek thing when they met up, like Italians. Italians were still manly. They had coliseums and stuff."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2641144/1/CharlieHorse_and_the_Jolly_Green_Giant
""What are you guys doing here? This is so crazy that you're all here, and I'm here, too, huh? Anyways. What's up?" Cindy asked. The boys, who were not expecting anyone they knew (let alone Cindy) were thoroughly weirded out. Charlie thought that she must be stalking him (what if she was trying to make sure that he was eating the gingerbread house because she laced it with date-rape drugs?), and Mario thought that she must be the craziest bitch he had ever met (who the hell gives her crush gingerbread houses and follows him into the woods to try to seduce him?). Mario leaned over to whisper into Charlie's ear."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2430890/1/Kiss_me
"I blink and smile giddily to myself. From across the office, I notice Jimmy by the coffee machine stupidly flashing two thumbs up at me; probing me for an answer. I grin and repeatedly nod at him while stupidly flashing two thumbs up back at him.
We probably look like two drop dead gorgeous maniacs, but who cares? The editor-in-chief and sub-editor-in-chief are celebrating."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2475090/1/Click_Click_Click
"Darel Coffman isn't sure he should bother. It hasn't been mentioned, not once sense he'd woken up in Matt's bed, walked home trying to revive his decency, but it's been bothering him like a sleeping foot for five years. Hiding really isn't his thing, hence the six foot poster of the U.S.S. Enterprise (plus support vehicles) in his dorm room, but Matt doesn't want the beans spilt; doesn't want people to know he's been tonsil searching with the biggest nerd since George Lucas for over five years."
yes, they are slash. don't like it, don't deal, but all of these writers are incredibly talented. i pick them for their talent, not their content. they deserve a few minutes of your attention.
STORIES OF FAME
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2560251/2/High_School_The_Bet
"TJ shrugged. "He's upset that you didn't tell us you were gay earlier."
Rodgers frowned. "I wasn't gay earlier."
TJ shook his head. "You really are hopeless, you know?""
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2322849/1/FrankInLove
"He didn’t kiss Flea or Gill, but I couldn’t blame him. Kissing Flea on the cheek would probably make him cough up a hairball later, and I figured kissing Gill would be kind of slimy. And anyway, I was his best friend.
He started kissing me on the cheek whenever we’d meet up, and I got a little weirded-out again until I remembered that I was a cool, modern guy. Lots of European guys did that kissy double-cheek thing when they met up, like Italians. Italians were still manly. They had coliseums and stuff."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2641144/1/CharlieHorse_and_the_Jolly_Green_Giant
""What are you guys doing here? This is so crazy that you're all here, and I'm here, too, huh? Anyways. What's up?" Cindy asked. The boys, who were not expecting anyone they knew (let alone Cindy) were thoroughly weirded out. Charlie thought that she must be stalking him (what if she was trying to make sure that he was eating the gingerbread house because she laced it with date-rape drugs?), and Mario thought that she must be the craziest bitch he had ever met (who the hell gives her crush gingerbread houses and follows him into the woods to try to seduce him?). Mario leaned over to whisper into Charlie's ear."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2430890/1/Kiss_me
"I blink and smile giddily to myself. From across the office, I notice Jimmy by the coffee machine stupidly flashing two thumbs up at me; probing me for an answer. I grin and repeatedly nod at him while stupidly flashing two thumbs up back at him.
We probably look like two drop dead gorgeous maniacs, but who cares? The editor-in-chief and sub-editor-in-chief are celebrating."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2475090/1/Click_Click_Click
"Darel Coffman isn't sure he should bother. It hasn't been mentioned, not once sense he'd woken up in Matt's bed, walked home trying to revive his decency, but it's been bothering him like a sleeping foot for five years. Hiding really isn't his thing, hence the six foot poster of the U.S.S. Enterprise (plus support vehicles) in his dorm room, but Matt doesn't want the beans spilt; doesn't want people to know he's been tonsil searching with the biggest nerd since George Lucas for over five years."
yes, they are slash. don't like it, don't deal, but all of these writers are incredibly talented. i pick them for their talent, not their content. they deserve a few minutes of your attention.
you're a hot mess and i'm falling for you
COBRA'S NEW ALBUM IS OUT!!
want to buy me it? damn, didn't think so. got turned down for the job by JC, broke up with C + dislocated left rib. i should be feeling lousy.
i'm not. i'm doing pretty good, despite the fact that my hoodie is late and hasn't arrived yet and my dad's being an asshole. i'm feeling good.
don't bring me down, badup.
want to buy me it? damn, didn't think so. got turned down for the job by JC, broke up with C + dislocated left rib. i should be feeling lousy.
i'm not. i'm doing pretty good, despite the fact that my hoodie is late and hasn't arrived yet and my dad's being an asshole. i'm feeling good.
don't bring me down, badup.
Sunday, 2 August 2009
so come on/won't you rip me up
-with your furious eyes, yeah you're talking too much/ i can't see the sky yet/ i can't see the sky yet/ heat me up before i freeze you out/ oh i can't talk to you with my head in the clouds/ so come on/ won't you rip me up/ won't you rip me up.
it's bordering on masochism haha ¬¬
and i'm not planning on posting the rest of it here haha. seriously, the only people i'm planning on showing it to are the people i hopefully make a band with. i don't want to make music on my own. it's lonely. plus i have all these ideas for different parts.
it's bordering on masochism haha ¬¬
and i'm not planning on posting the rest of it here haha. seriously, the only people i'm planning on showing it to are the people i hopefully make a band with. i don't want to make music on my own. it's lonely. plus i have all these ideas for different parts.
Friday, 31 July 2009
between the lines.
he wants to send me away.
it's not fair, it's not, it's not it's not, i was the one holding us all together when she buggered off to god knows where and they were crying and arguing every few minutes and i kept it together and even when she came back and we had so little money and everyone cried, i kept strong and you'd think someone would say well done
but as soon as he's back he thinks he can just fuck us all over again, it's not fair, it's not it's not how he picks sides and then he's taunting me every few minutes and i get told off for rising to it. it's not fair i'm not allowed to have my own privacy. i shouldn't have to make excuses just so i can keep a lock on my computer so i can keep my stories and songs private. i shouldn't have to have to keep my gameboy in my bedroom even though i paid for it and gave him my old one. he shouldn't be allowed to keep it when it's not his and it's not fair, it's not it's not, and i get blamed for everything going missing and then nobody believes me when it's not my fault and then when i prove it's not my fault still no one apologises. and it's not fair, i've given up so much and yet they're still allowed to hurt me. my friends pretty much hate me now because i can't stand the thought of being trapped here with no money again because it isn't fair. if you can't pay for your own food, you don't eat. if you don't pay for your own travel, you're not to go out. and yet they seem to love her, she's driven to these expensive courses and they still hate me even though it's not my fault. and i'm called the "reason for his "depression"" when i try to stand up for myself. i'm not allowed my own privacy. i'm not allowed my friends. i'm certainly not allowed to stand up for myself when everyone else is putting me down. i'm tired of being the lazy child, the one who doesn't work, when my grades have improved so much. and they have. i've gone from es+fs to as bs + cs but still i get the she got an a*, why can't you? i'm not her. i'm so sick of being the child who's used to make the other two look better, prettier, funnier, smarter. i'm too tired with this. i can't see the point any more to anything. i'm not allowed to be what i want to be because i don't understand how i can get there on my own and no one will help me. i can't even wear my own clothes.
i've been so strong all along and you seem to think it's alright to destroy everything i love and ban me from everything i enjoy doing
you can't keep me locked in my bedroom forever. if you're expecting some prince charming to come and save me from this fucked up family, you're wrong. soon you're going to have to realise that there won't be a happy ending. because i'm not rapunzel, and i've learnt by now that things never end happily.
it's not fair, it's not, it's not it's not, i was the one holding us all together when she buggered off to god knows where and they were crying and arguing every few minutes and i kept it together and even when she came back and we had so little money and everyone cried, i kept strong and you'd think someone would say well done
but as soon as he's back he thinks he can just fuck us all over again, it's not fair, it's not it's not how he picks sides and then he's taunting me every few minutes and i get told off for rising to it. it's not fair i'm not allowed to have my own privacy. i shouldn't have to make excuses just so i can keep a lock on my computer so i can keep my stories and songs private. i shouldn't have to have to keep my gameboy in my bedroom even though i paid for it and gave him my old one. he shouldn't be allowed to keep it when it's not his and it's not fair, it's not it's not, and i get blamed for everything going missing and then nobody believes me when it's not my fault and then when i prove it's not my fault still no one apologises. and it's not fair, i've given up so much and yet they're still allowed to hurt me. my friends pretty much hate me now because i can't stand the thought of being trapped here with no money again because it isn't fair. if you can't pay for your own food, you don't eat. if you don't pay for your own travel, you're not to go out. and yet they seem to love her, she's driven to these expensive courses and they still hate me even though it's not my fault. and i'm called the "reason for his "depression"" when i try to stand up for myself. i'm not allowed my own privacy. i'm not allowed my friends. i'm certainly not allowed to stand up for myself when everyone else is putting me down. i'm tired of being the lazy child, the one who doesn't work, when my grades have improved so much. and they have. i've gone from es+fs to as bs + cs but still i get the she got an a*, why can't you? i'm not her. i'm so sick of being the child who's used to make the other two look better, prettier, funnier, smarter. i'm too tired with this. i can't see the point any more to anything. i'm not allowed to be what i want to be because i don't understand how i can get there on my own and no one will help me. i can't even wear my own clothes.
i've been so strong all along and you seem to think it's alright to destroy everything i love and ban me from everything i enjoy doing
you can't keep me locked in my bedroom forever. if you're expecting some prince charming to come and save me from this fucked up family, you're wrong. soon you're going to have to realise that there won't be a happy ending. because i'm not rapunzel, and i've learnt by now that things never end happily.
Monday, 27 July 2009
now we've got a big big big mess on our hands tonight.
Late night/early morning shopping. It's 3.29AM. Which one is it d'you think?
I'm trying to find a really cool green zip up hoodie with a white zip.
http://www.chemical-records.co.uk/sc/servlet/Info?ref=gbase&Track=SMITHGR
^^
I guess that's something like what I want, but I don't dig the green too much.
http://store.americanapparel.net/f497w.html
I REALLY want one of these. It's a hoodie like the one Gabe for Cobra wears and it's very very nice. So I'd quite like one of those. The only problem is that like...I dunno. In measurements, strictly speaking I'm well within the range of a Small and the Small clothes that I have for my Clockwork Orange tee or my Sonic one are slightly too big. However, it's a hoodie though isn't it? So I'm gonna get a medium, haha. I want one with a really baggy fit anyway. Still, I can't help wondering if it's gonna drown me. I'm a 34, 35" and the average size for a medium is around a 40. so :S Hm. Don't even ask why I'm buying men's/unisex hoodies, ahaa. I guess having small tits is at least good for something.
I deleted all the stuff on my iPod last night and put some new stuff on it this morning. I'm gonna list what I've got on here so far because it's 03.36AM and i'm shit bored.
music
The Academy IsThe Academy EP, Almost Here, Fast Times at Barrington High, Santi
Amy Studt My Paper Made Men
Ashley Tisdale Guilty Pleasures
Brand New Deja Entendu, The Devil and God are Raging Inside of me
Cobra Starship Viva La Cobra, While the City Sleeps, We Rule the Streets
Demi Lovato Don't Forget
Elliot Minor Elliot Minor
Gym Class Heroes As Cruel as School Children, For the Kids, The Papercut Chronicles, The Quilt
HelloGoodbye Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!
I Am Ghost Lovers' Requiem
Jason Mraz MR.A-Z
Katy Perry One of the Boys
Lady Gaga The Fame
Pierce the Veil A Flair for the Dramatic
Simple Plan Simple Plan
Taylor Swift Fearless
The Urgency The Urgency
3OH!3 WANT
and i don't want to talk about it right now. i know that bottling it up is not good for me. i'm not doing that. i'm just dealing with things my way. things are shit, yes, so what? things are shit for everyone else in this world. stopping to cry over it like i've done in the past is immature and pointless. it solves nothing.
no. i don't want to talk about it.
and that's the end of it.
I'm trying to find a really cool green zip up hoodie with a white zip.
http://www.chemical-records.co.uk/sc/servlet/Info?ref=gbase&Track=SMITHGR
^^
I guess that's something like what I want, but I don't dig the green too much.
http://store.americanapparel.net/f497w.html
I REALLY want one of these. It's a hoodie like the one Gabe for Cobra wears and it's very very nice. So I'd quite like one of those. The only problem is that like...I dunno. In measurements, strictly speaking I'm well within the range of a Small and the Small clothes that I have for my Clockwork Orange tee or my Sonic one are slightly too big. However, it's a hoodie though isn't it? So I'm gonna get a medium, haha. I want one with a really baggy fit anyway. Still, I can't help wondering if it's gonna drown me. I'm a 34, 35" and the average size for a medium is around a 40. so :S Hm. Don't even ask why I'm buying men's/unisex hoodies, ahaa. I guess having small tits is at least good for something.
I deleted all the stuff on my iPod last night and put some new stuff on it this morning. I'm gonna list what I've got on here so far because it's 03.36AM and i'm shit bored.
music
The Academy IsThe Academy EP, Almost Here, Fast Times at Barrington High, Santi
Amy Studt My Paper Made Men
Ashley Tisdale Guilty Pleasures
Brand New Deja Entendu, The Devil and God are Raging Inside of me
Cobra Starship Viva La Cobra, While the City Sleeps, We Rule the Streets
Demi Lovato Don't Forget
Elliot Minor Elliot Minor
Gym Class Heroes As Cruel as School Children, For the Kids, The Papercut Chronicles, The Quilt
HelloGoodbye Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!
I Am Ghost Lovers' Requiem
Jason Mraz MR.A-Z
Katy Perry One of the Boys
Lady Gaga The Fame
Pierce the Veil A Flair for the Dramatic
Simple Plan Simple Plan
Taylor Swift Fearless
The Urgency The Urgency
3OH!3 WANT
and i don't want to talk about it right now. i know that bottling it up is not good for me. i'm not doing that. i'm just dealing with things my way. things are shit, yes, so what? things are shit for everyone else in this world. stopping to cry over it like i've done in the past is immature and pointless. it solves nothing.
no. i don't want to talk about it.
and that's the end of it.
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