Thursday, 26 November 2009
Sunday, 8 November 2009
i'm bored i'm bored i'm broed i'm BORED EVEN!
ANYWAY BECAUSE I'M BORED I'M GOING TO COMPILE A LIST OF AWESOME THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS
- stealing emma's house and every time i leave going DON'T RAPE THAT PIGEON. and pressing her doorbell
- going to ffaf with kirsty. "we should stay in a travel lodge"
"wait where's the travel lodge"
"NEXT TO YOU"
and of course the
"HEY LOOK, THAT SIGN'S THE SAME COLOUR AS THAT SIGN!"
"...that's because they're the same sign."
"mmm, tesco value."
"i LIKE this"
- conversation with beckyx2 + kirsty
"i'd be fine with philip so long as he stopped putting his GODDAMN elbows on my GODDAMN table!"
"we've moved behind him now!"
"i can feel him mentally elbowing my table."
- conversation with daniel while drunk
"thye thnki i m drnk but i'm NTO!!!" and on and on
- the ape walk
"WALK IT, WALK IT...oh hi ms nutchins...."
- the titanic re enactment
"NEEEEAR FAAAAAR WHEREVERRRR YOU AREEE-"
"TILLY, that's mrs branch coming up the stairs"
- emma's house, scene one of many
the riff from funhouse
"THIS USED TO BE A FUN-"
"I DON'T CARE, MABUILDA!"
-oh yeah that whole thing
mabuilda winehold
fuck yeah.
ANYWAY BECAUSE I'M BORED I'M GOING TO COMPILE A LIST OF AWESOME THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS
- stealing emma's house and every time i leave going DON'T RAPE THAT PIGEON. and pressing her doorbell
- going to ffaf with kirsty. "we should stay in a travel lodge"
"wait where's the travel lodge"
"NEXT TO YOU"
and of course the
"HEY LOOK, THAT SIGN'S THE SAME COLOUR AS THAT SIGN!"
"...that's because they're the same sign."
"mmm, tesco value."
"i LIKE this"
- conversation with beckyx2 + kirsty
"i'd be fine with philip so long as he stopped putting his GODDAMN elbows on my GODDAMN table!"
"we've moved behind him now!"
"i can feel him mentally elbowing my table."
- conversation with daniel while drunk
"thye thnki i m drnk but i'm NTO!!!" and on and on
- the ape walk
"WALK IT, WALK IT...oh hi ms nutchins...."
- the titanic re enactment
"NEEEEAR FAAAAAR WHEREVERRRR YOU AREEE-"
"TILLY, that's mrs branch coming up the stairs"
- emma's house, scene one of many
the riff from funhouse
"THIS USED TO BE A FUN-"
"I DON'T CARE, MABUILDA!"
-oh yeah that whole thing
mabuilda winehold
fuck yeah.
Sunday, 25 October 2009
why should i care? 'cause you weren't there when i was scared.
let's have a very quick update and then i'm off again because i really don't care about this tbh
it's half term. i'm going to see my cousins on thursday. i'm going to see funeral for a friend + a movie on wednesday. i may or may not be going to a sleepover on saturday. it all depends on whether i'm back from yorkshire. i've repierced my ears. they've stopped hurting. there is no infection. i may or may not have an infection in the hole in my neck. that's from a panic attack, not self harm, thanks. i'm going to the doctor on tuesday to find out what's wrong with me regarding the panic attacks.
you know, i'm really a bit tired of this whole blogging situation. if you want to know about me, you should ask me what's going on with me. i have no interest in talking to an empty space.
it's half term. i'm going to see my cousins on thursday. i'm going to see funeral for a friend + a movie on wednesday. i may or may not be going to a sleepover on saturday. it all depends on whether i'm back from yorkshire. i've repierced my ears. they've stopped hurting. there is no infection. i may or may not have an infection in the hole in my neck. that's from a panic attack, not self harm, thanks. i'm going to the doctor on tuesday to find out what's wrong with me regarding the panic attacks.
you know, i'm really a bit tired of this whole blogging situation. if you want to know about me, you should ask me what's going on with me. i have no interest in talking to an empty space.
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Friday, 4 September 2009
kamikaze airplanes in the sky
i've slept properly the past two nights, i've just successfully completed an order for clothes online without freaking out, i'm hopefully attending one of jreed's writing workshops which he's trying to rearrange so that i can attend, i'm closer now to my parents + family than i've ever been and i'm actually not dreading school too much now.
life is goooood (:
txo
life is goooood (:
txo
Monday, 24 August 2009
Sunday, 23 August 2009
If We're All Alone, Aren't We In This Together?
I like this song. It's by October Fall. Barely anyone's heard of them, which is sad, because their album was pretty good.
-take my innocence away, we'd barely notice anyway.
i figure that i need to do A Proper Blogpost for once.
Right, this week.
I've met up with Luke and Emma this week. It was good. I didn't realise how much I'd missed either of them. Luke and I met this crazy cat lady who showed us her ducks and so we called her cat Tabitha. She was pretty cool. Emma and I had a picnic. It was fun. I like Emma. She's cool.
I went a bit weird on Dan & Lorren that night though - I'm not sure whether it was the fact I'd been drinking that night or whether everything just got to me. It's all been a little stressful to be honest. I think only Dan, and maybe Lorren, know the whole thing really. They're cool.
-i don't want to be anything you forget.
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. And I think I've made up my mind. But yeah, I dunno. I think it's too late.
-they won't forget you in the end.
That's just life.
-take my innocence away, we'd barely notice anyway.
i figure that i need to do A Proper Blogpost for once.
Right, this week.
I've met up with Luke and Emma this week. It was good. I didn't realise how much I'd missed either of them. Luke and I met this crazy cat lady who showed us her ducks and so we called her cat Tabitha. She was pretty cool. Emma and I had a picnic. It was fun. I like Emma. She's cool.
I went a bit weird on Dan & Lorren that night though - I'm not sure whether it was the fact I'd been drinking that night or whether everything just got to me. It's all been a little stressful to be honest. I think only Dan, and maybe Lorren, know the whole thing really. They're cool.
-i don't want to be anything you forget.
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. And I think I've made up my mind. But yeah, I dunno. I think it's too late.
-they won't forget you in the end.
That's just life.
Monday, 17 August 2009
five favourite...
wild world - cat stevens
share it with me - family force five
hot mess - cobra starship
your call - secondhand serenade
here it goes - jimmy eat world
songs this week
wild world - cat stevens
"it's breaking my heart that you're leaving,
baby i'm grieving"
baby i'm grieving"
share it with me - family force five
"you've already broken my heart.
i'd like to keep at least one piece."
i'd like to keep at least one piece."
hot mess - cobra starship
"got me hypnotized
the city's your play ground"
the city's your play ground"
your call - secondhand serenade
"i was born to tell you i love you
and i am torn to do what i have to."
and i am torn to do what i have to."
here it goes - jimmy eat world
"lights go down
everything is yours to lose"
everything is yours to lose"
Saturday, 15 August 2009
'cause when you're fifteen, someone tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them.
THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE.
STORIES OF FAME
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2560251/2/High_School_The_Bet
"TJ shrugged. "He's upset that you didn't tell us you were gay earlier."
Rodgers frowned. "I wasn't gay earlier."
TJ shook his head. "You really are hopeless, you know?""
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2322849/1/FrankInLove
"He didn’t kiss Flea or Gill, but I couldn’t blame him. Kissing Flea on the cheek would probably make him cough up a hairball later, and I figured kissing Gill would be kind of slimy. And anyway, I was his best friend.
He started kissing me on the cheek whenever we’d meet up, and I got a little weirded-out again until I remembered that I was a cool, modern guy. Lots of European guys did that kissy double-cheek thing when they met up, like Italians. Italians were still manly. They had coliseums and stuff."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2641144/1/CharlieHorse_and_the_Jolly_Green_Giant
""What are you guys doing here? This is so crazy that you're all here, and I'm here, too, huh? Anyways. What's up?" Cindy asked. The boys, who were not expecting anyone they knew (let alone Cindy) were thoroughly weirded out. Charlie thought that she must be stalking him (what if she was trying to make sure that he was eating the gingerbread house because she laced it with date-rape drugs?), and Mario thought that she must be the craziest bitch he had ever met (who the hell gives her crush gingerbread houses and follows him into the woods to try to seduce him?). Mario leaned over to whisper into Charlie's ear."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2430890/1/Kiss_me
"I blink and smile giddily to myself. From across the office, I notice Jimmy by the coffee machine stupidly flashing two thumbs up at me; probing me for an answer. I grin and repeatedly nod at him while stupidly flashing two thumbs up back at him.
We probably look like two drop dead gorgeous maniacs, but who cares? The editor-in-chief and sub-editor-in-chief are celebrating."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2475090/1/Click_Click_Click
"Darel Coffman isn't sure he should bother. It hasn't been mentioned, not once sense he'd woken up in Matt's bed, walked home trying to revive his decency, but it's been bothering him like a sleeping foot for five years. Hiding really isn't his thing, hence the six foot poster of the U.S.S. Enterprise (plus support vehicles) in his dorm room, but Matt doesn't want the beans spilt; doesn't want people to know he's been tonsil searching with the biggest nerd since George Lucas for over five years."
yes, they are slash. don't like it, don't deal, but all of these writers are incredibly talented. i pick them for their talent, not their content. they deserve a few minutes of your attention.
STORIES OF FAME
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2560251/2/High_School_The_Bet
"TJ shrugged. "He's upset that you didn't tell us you were gay earlier."
Rodgers frowned. "I wasn't gay earlier."
TJ shook his head. "You really are hopeless, you know?""
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2322849/1/FrankInLove
"He didn’t kiss Flea or Gill, but I couldn’t blame him. Kissing Flea on the cheek would probably make him cough up a hairball later, and I figured kissing Gill would be kind of slimy. And anyway, I was his best friend.
He started kissing me on the cheek whenever we’d meet up, and I got a little weirded-out again until I remembered that I was a cool, modern guy. Lots of European guys did that kissy double-cheek thing when they met up, like Italians. Italians were still manly. They had coliseums and stuff."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2641144/1/CharlieHorse_and_the_Jolly_Green_Giant
""What are you guys doing here? This is so crazy that you're all here, and I'm here, too, huh? Anyways. What's up?" Cindy asked. The boys, who were not expecting anyone they knew (let alone Cindy) were thoroughly weirded out. Charlie thought that she must be stalking him (what if she was trying to make sure that he was eating the gingerbread house because she laced it with date-rape drugs?), and Mario thought that she must be the craziest bitch he had ever met (who the hell gives her crush gingerbread houses and follows him into the woods to try to seduce him?). Mario leaned over to whisper into Charlie's ear."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2430890/1/Kiss_me
"I blink and smile giddily to myself. From across the office, I notice Jimmy by the coffee machine stupidly flashing two thumbs up at me; probing me for an answer. I grin and repeatedly nod at him while stupidly flashing two thumbs up back at him.
We probably look like two drop dead gorgeous maniacs, but who cares? The editor-in-chief and sub-editor-in-chief are celebrating."
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2475090/1/Click_Click_Click
"Darel Coffman isn't sure he should bother. It hasn't been mentioned, not once sense he'd woken up in Matt's bed, walked home trying to revive his decency, but it's been bothering him like a sleeping foot for five years. Hiding really isn't his thing, hence the six foot poster of the U.S.S. Enterprise (plus support vehicles) in his dorm room, but Matt doesn't want the beans spilt; doesn't want people to know he's been tonsil searching with the biggest nerd since George Lucas for over five years."
yes, they are slash. don't like it, don't deal, but all of these writers are incredibly talented. i pick them for their talent, not their content. they deserve a few minutes of your attention.
you're a hot mess and i'm falling for you
COBRA'S NEW ALBUM IS OUT!!
want to buy me it? damn, didn't think so. got turned down for the job by JC, broke up with C + dislocated left rib. i should be feeling lousy.
i'm not. i'm doing pretty good, despite the fact that my hoodie is late and hasn't arrived yet and my dad's being an asshole. i'm feeling good.
don't bring me down, badup.
want to buy me it? damn, didn't think so. got turned down for the job by JC, broke up with C + dislocated left rib. i should be feeling lousy.
i'm not. i'm doing pretty good, despite the fact that my hoodie is late and hasn't arrived yet and my dad's being an asshole. i'm feeling good.
don't bring me down, badup.
Sunday, 2 August 2009
so come on/won't you rip me up
-with your furious eyes, yeah you're talking too much/ i can't see the sky yet/ i can't see the sky yet/ heat me up before i freeze you out/ oh i can't talk to you with my head in the clouds/ so come on/ won't you rip me up/ won't you rip me up.
it's bordering on masochism haha ¬¬
and i'm not planning on posting the rest of it here haha. seriously, the only people i'm planning on showing it to are the people i hopefully make a band with. i don't want to make music on my own. it's lonely. plus i have all these ideas for different parts.
it's bordering on masochism haha ¬¬
and i'm not planning on posting the rest of it here haha. seriously, the only people i'm planning on showing it to are the people i hopefully make a band with. i don't want to make music on my own. it's lonely. plus i have all these ideas for different parts.
Friday, 31 July 2009
between the lines.
he wants to send me away.
it's not fair, it's not, it's not it's not, i was the one holding us all together when she buggered off to god knows where and they were crying and arguing every few minutes and i kept it together and even when she came back and we had so little money and everyone cried, i kept strong and you'd think someone would say well done
but as soon as he's back he thinks he can just fuck us all over again, it's not fair, it's not it's not how he picks sides and then he's taunting me every few minutes and i get told off for rising to it. it's not fair i'm not allowed to have my own privacy. i shouldn't have to make excuses just so i can keep a lock on my computer so i can keep my stories and songs private. i shouldn't have to have to keep my gameboy in my bedroom even though i paid for it and gave him my old one. he shouldn't be allowed to keep it when it's not his and it's not fair, it's not it's not, and i get blamed for everything going missing and then nobody believes me when it's not my fault and then when i prove it's not my fault still no one apologises. and it's not fair, i've given up so much and yet they're still allowed to hurt me. my friends pretty much hate me now because i can't stand the thought of being trapped here with no money again because it isn't fair. if you can't pay for your own food, you don't eat. if you don't pay for your own travel, you're not to go out. and yet they seem to love her, she's driven to these expensive courses and they still hate me even though it's not my fault. and i'm called the "reason for his "depression"" when i try to stand up for myself. i'm not allowed my own privacy. i'm not allowed my friends. i'm certainly not allowed to stand up for myself when everyone else is putting me down. i'm tired of being the lazy child, the one who doesn't work, when my grades have improved so much. and they have. i've gone from es+fs to as bs + cs but still i get the she got an a*, why can't you? i'm not her. i'm so sick of being the child who's used to make the other two look better, prettier, funnier, smarter. i'm too tired with this. i can't see the point any more to anything. i'm not allowed to be what i want to be because i don't understand how i can get there on my own and no one will help me. i can't even wear my own clothes.
i've been so strong all along and you seem to think it's alright to destroy everything i love and ban me from everything i enjoy doing
you can't keep me locked in my bedroom forever. if you're expecting some prince charming to come and save me from this fucked up family, you're wrong. soon you're going to have to realise that there won't be a happy ending. because i'm not rapunzel, and i've learnt by now that things never end happily.
it's not fair, it's not, it's not it's not, i was the one holding us all together when she buggered off to god knows where and they were crying and arguing every few minutes and i kept it together and even when she came back and we had so little money and everyone cried, i kept strong and you'd think someone would say well done
but as soon as he's back he thinks he can just fuck us all over again, it's not fair, it's not it's not how he picks sides and then he's taunting me every few minutes and i get told off for rising to it. it's not fair i'm not allowed to have my own privacy. i shouldn't have to make excuses just so i can keep a lock on my computer so i can keep my stories and songs private. i shouldn't have to have to keep my gameboy in my bedroom even though i paid for it and gave him my old one. he shouldn't be allowed to keep it when it's not his and it's not fair, it's not it's not, and i get blamed for everything going missing and then nobody believes me when it's not my fault and then when i prove it's not my fault still no one apologises. and it's not fair, i've given up so much and yet they're still allowed to hurt me. my friends pretty much hate me now because i can't stand the thought of being trapped here with no money again because it isn't fair. if you can't pay for your own food, you don't eat. if you don't pay for your own travel, you're not to go out. and yet they seem to love her, she's driven to these expensive courses and they still hate me even though it's not my fault. and i'm called the "reason for his "depression"" when i try to stand up for myself. i'm not allowed my own privacy. i'm not allowed my friends. i'm certainly not allowed to stand up for myself when everyone else is putting me down. i'm tired of being the lazy child, the one who doesn't work, when my grades have improved so much. and they have. i've gone from es+fs to as bs + cs but still i get the she got an a*, why can't you? i'm not her. i'm so sick of being the child who's used to make the other two look better, prettier, funnier, smarter. i'm too tired with this. i can't see the point any more to anything. i'm not allowed to be what i want to be because i don't understand how i can get there on my own and no one will help me. i can't even wear my own clothes.
i've been so strong all along and you seem to think it's alright to destroy everything i love and ban me from everything i enjoy doing
you can't keep me locked in my bedroom forever. if you're expecting some prince charming to come and save me from this fucked up family, you're wrong. soon you're going to have to realise that there won't be a happy ending. because i'm not rapunzel, and i've learnt by now that things never end happily.
Monday, 27 July 2009
now we've got a big big big mess on our hands tonight.
Late night/early morning shopping. It's 3.29AM. Which one is it d'you think?
I'm trying to find a really cool green zip up hoodie with a white zip.
http://www.chemical-records.co.uk/sc/servlet/Info?ref=gbase&Track=SMITHGR
^^
I guess that's something like what I want, but I don't dig the green too much.
http://store.americanapparel.net/f497w.html
I REALLY want one of these. It's a hoodie like the one Gabe for Cobra wears and it's very very nice. So I'd quite like one of those. The only problem is that like...I dunno. In measurements, strictly speaking I'm well within the range of a Small and the Small clothes that I have for my Clockwork Orange tee or my Sonic one are slightly too big. However, it's a hoodie though isn't it? So I'm gonna get a medium, haha. I want one with a really baggy fit anyway. Still, I can't help wondering if it's gonna drown me. I'm a 34, 35" and the average size for a medium is around a 40. so :S Hm. Don't even ask why I'm buying men's/unisex hoodies, ahaa. I guess having small tits is at least good for something.
I deleted all the stuff on my iPod last night and put some new stuff on it this morning. I'm gonna list what I've got on here so far because it's 03.36AM and i'm shit bored.
music
The Academy IsThe Academy EP, Almost Here, Fast Times at Barrington High, Santi
Amy Studt My Paper Made Men
Ashley Tisdale Guilty Pleasures
Brand New Deja Entendu, The Devil and God are Raging Inside of me
Cobra Starship Viva La Cobra, While the City Sleeps, We Rule the Streets
Demi Lovato Don't Forget
Elliot Minor Elliot Minor
Gym Class Heroes As Cruel as School Children, For the Kids, The Papercut Chronicles, The Quilt
HelloGoodbye Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!
I Am Ghost Lovers' Requiem
Jason Mraz MR.A-Z
Katy Perry One of the Boys
Lady Gaga The Fame
Pierce the Veil A Flair for the Dramatic
Simple Plan Simple Plan
Taylor Swift Fearless
The Urgency The Urgency
3OH!3 WANT
and i don't want to talk about it right now. i know that bottling it up is not good for me. i'm not doing that. i'm just dealing with things my way. things are shit, yes, so what? things are shit for everyone else in this world. stopping to cry over it like i've done in the past is immature and pointless. it solves nothing.
no. i don't want to talk about it.
and that's the end of it.
I'm trying to find a really cool green zip up hoodie with a white zip.
http://www.chemical-records.co.uk/sc/servlet/Info?ref=gbase&Track=SMITHGR
^^
I guess that's something like what I want, but I don't dig the green too much.
http://store.americanapparel.net/f497w.html
I REALLY want one of these. It's a hoodie like the one Gabe for Cobra wears and it's very very nice. So I'd quite like one of those. The only problem is that like...I dunno. In measurements, strictly speaking I'm well within the range of a Small and the Small clothes that I have for my Clockwork Orange tee or my Sonic one are slightly too big. However, it's a hoodie though isn't it? So I'm gonna get a medium, haha. I want one with a really baggy fit anyway. Still, I can't help wondering if it's gonna drown me. I'm a 34, 35" and the average size for a medium is around a 40. so :S Hm. Don't even ask why I'm buying men's/unisex hoodies, ahaa. I guess having small tits is at least good for something.
I deleted all the stuff on my iPod last night and put some new stuff on it this morning. I'm gonna list what I've got on here so far because it's 03.36AM and i'm shit bored.
music
The Academy IsThe Academy EP, Almost Here, Fast Times at Barrington High, Santi
Amy Studt My Paper Made Men
Ashley Tisdale Guilty Pleasures
Brand New Deja Entendu, The Devil and God are Raging Inside of me
Cobra Starship Viva La Cobra, While the City Sleeps, We Rule the Streets
Demi Lovato Don't Forget
Elliot Minor Elliot Minor
Gym Class Heroes As Cruel as School Children, For the Kids, The Papercut Chronicles, The Quilt
HelloGoodbye Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!
I Am Ghost Lovers' Requiem
Jason Mraz MR.A-Z
Katy Perry One of the Boys
Lady Gaga The Fame
Pierce the Veil A Flair for the Dramatic
Simple Plan Simple Plan
Taylor Swift Fearless
The Urgency The Urgency
3OH!3 WANT
and i don't want to talk about it right now. i know that bottling it up is not good for me. i'm not doing that. i'm just dealing with things my way. things are shit, yes, so what? things are shit for everyone else in this world. stopping to cry over it like i've done in the past is immature and pointless. it solves nothing.
no. i don't want to talk about it.
and that's the end of it.
Saturday, 25 July 2009
honey, i'm going to make it out alive.
a devotion to babble
to a life (mis)led by quoting indifferences -
i offer you subtleties, niceties. it is worthwhile
for a few minutes of peace, while my mother massages a migraine.
to my father nursing his negligence in a hospital bed while
the women phone for reassurance that their lives could be worse.
this gossip mill, i am not this rumour of a child, silent.
my life is not run by the words on your lips.
i offer you subtleties, niceties. it is worthwhile
for a few minutes of peace, while my mother massages a migraine.
to my father nursing his negligence in a hospital bed while
the women phone for reassurance that their lives could be worse.
this gossip mill, i am not this rumour of a child, silent.
my life is not run by the words on your lips.
Friday, 24 July 2009
and the worst pies in london!
it's four o'clock in the morning! i'm so bored! i was asleep from nine until eleven and then i was like "oh time to wake up" and then i was playing animal crossing in my mum's room 'cause she kept having nightmares and like, twitching and falling off the bed. poor mama ): anyway she's all calm now so i'm like HIIII COMPUTERRRRR and then i find out everyone LITERALLY EVERYONE is very very sad ): D: D: D: i'm listening to the sweeney todd soundtrack and i'm kinda hungry which is fairly odd for me. i gave lotte the rest of my aero 'cause i'm cool like that! i had so many sweets today! i want to go find my money in my jeans so i can buy a shitload of sweets today. if anyone winds up coming out. i jolly well hope they do D: i've been stuck in the house for so long!! i want icecream, i think. i've got such a sweet tooth recently, which is odd because usually i'm like "urgh, food D:" but recently i've been like OMNOMNOM which really is odd for me!! D: i need to go biking again (: (: (:
i really hope my mummy did an underwear load of washing yesterday. i want to wear my cool checkered boxers tomorrow/today. i would do my own washing, but my dad doesn't trust me ahaha. i totally NEVER broke the kitchen appliances! i never turned the toaster upside down! never! never!
Now I'm listening to Shakira. SHUT UP. She's so cool! But they don't have Oral Fixation Vol. 2 D: which is totally her best album. I borrowed it from the library :D I'm listening to Cobra Starship now. Part of me hates them. The rest ADORES them. J'ADOREEEEE!! I like The Church of Hot Addiction.
i really hope my mummy did an underwear load of washing yesterday. i want to wear my cool checkered boxers tomorrow/today. i would do my own washing, but my dad doesn't trust me ahaha. i totally NEVER broke the kitchen appliances! i never turned the toaster upside down! never! never!
Now I'm listening to Shakira. SHUT UP. She's so cool! But they don't have Oral Fixation Vol. 2 D: which is totally her best album. I borrowed it from the library :D I'm listening to Cobra Starship now. Part of me hates them. The rest ADORES them. J'ADOREEEEE!! I like The Church of Hot Addiction.
Just let me ask you:
Hey, have you heard of my religion?
It's called the Church of Hot Addiction
And we believe that God has lust for everything
Because now,
The time has come for your devotion
And you already got a notion
Of what I need
So give it, just give it,
Just give it to me
You're willing,
I'm waiting.
Turn out the lights
Tonight I am the drug you can't deny
Tonight G-A-B-E gonna get you high
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light it electric
Just let me tell you
Hey, you gotta get the Cobra bless now
You're really only selling sex now
But I can pay
The price you charge for what I need
Because I,
I've got a nasty new compulsion
And you've already got a notion
Of what I need
So give it, just give it,
Just give it to me
You're willing,
I'm waiting.
Turn out the lights
Tonight I am the drug you can't deny
Tonight G-A-B-E gonna get you high
My light is electric
Tonight I am the drug you can't deny
Tonight G-A-B-E gonna get you high
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric
I've got electric eyes
And I can get you high
I've got electric eyes
I'm gonna get you
Tonight I am the drug you can't deny
Tonight G-A-B-E gonna get you high
My light is, light is, light is
Tonight I am the drug you can't deny
Tonight G-A-B-E gonna get you high
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah
Hey, have you heard of my religion?
It's called the Church of Hot Addiction
And we believe that God has lust for everything
Because now,
The time has come for your devotion
And you already got a notion
Of what I need
So give it, just give it,
Just give it to me
You're willing,
I'm waiting.
Turn out the lights
Tonight I am the drug you can't deny
Tonight G-A-B-E gonna get you high
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light it electric
Just let me tell you
Hey, you gotta get the Cobra bless now
You're really only selling sex now
But I can pay
The price you charge for what I need
Because I,
I've got a nasty new compulsion
And you've already got a notion
Of what I need
So give it, just give it,
Just give it to me
You're willing,
I'm waiting.
Turn out the lights
Tonight I am the drug you can't deny
Tonight G-A-B-E gonna get you high
My light is electric
Tonight I am the drug you can't deny
Tonight G-A-B-E gonna get you high
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric
I've got electric eyes
And I can get you high
I've got electric eyes
I'm gonna get you
Tonight I am the drug you can't deny
Tonight G-A-B-E gonna get you high
My light is, light is, light is
Tonight I am the drug you can't deny
Tonight G-A-B-E gonna get you high
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah, hey hey hey
My light is electric, hey hey hey
My light is electric, yeah
FITASS SONG. and i want some bitching formatting now!!
Thursday, 23 July 2009
i wanna get back, get back (;
OHMYGOD SO MANY FREAKIN' ICONS MADE TODAY! i'll post them if i cba, but there's 20+ RENT ones, 4+ Mock the Week, 2+ Eastenders...
It's gonna take a while =D And I haven't even finished making themmm.
OMG. EASTENDERS SPOILERS FOR LIKE, OCTOBER!!
on the plus side, syed + christian don't look like they're being written out any time soon =D ON THE DOWNSIDE, THE NEXT TIME THEY'RE FREAKING ON IS LIKE NEXT MONDAY! but even still, there's this MASSIVE MASSIVE EVENT that totally pushes on things =D =D =D
I like being a nerd.
It's gonna take a while =D And I haven't even finished making themmm.
OMG. EASTENDERS SPOILERS FOR LIKE, OCTOBER!!
on the plus side, syed + christian don't look like they're being written out any time soon =D ON THE DOWNSIDE, THE NEXT TIME THEY'RE FREAKING ON IS LIKE NEXT MONDAY! but even still, there's this MASSIVE MASSIVE EVENT that totally pushes on things =D =D =D
I like being a nerd.
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
i don't get it; where was your conscience
so, hi, haha. sorry i've been away. it's been a little crazy here.
um, basically i'm going to be stuck here for a while. because my dad had to go to hospital because they suddenly thought he had this paralysis condition and he had to have this urgent urgent operation on his back and um, i really don't know what's going on. don't ask me. so. um. sorry i'm missing out on a lot. sorry. really. sorry.
um, i was going to post a really good story that i found on fictionpress here, as a kind of hall of fame, but i realised that um, it's vaguely strange and some people might be like "t, you read stories about fictional festive characters getting it on like whaaat." because i totally don't. the story's amazing. but it is slightly weird, but maybe that's part of the charm? pass :/ haha. sorry.
http://www.popnography.com/2009/05/how-gay-is-your-star-trek.html
this made me lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th5UnJPubUo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE9O3oZ6M3g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2j0hCRm8Wo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYWEHOj6IEc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlCnhipYY1Y&feature=channel
i can't remember what each of these are, but they were all in the related links to star trek themed searches. haha. i got freaked, haha. sorry.
right, i'm gonna um, try to get some sleep. night, um, night.
um, basically i'm going to be stuck here for a while. because my dad had to go to hospital because they suddenly thought he had this paralysis condition and he had to have this urgent urgent operation on his back and um, i really don't know what's going on. don't ask me. so. um. sorry i'm missing out on a lot. sorry. really. sorry.
um, i was going to post a really good story that i found on fictionpress here, as a kind of hall of fame, but i realised that um, it's vaguely strange and some people might be like "t, you read stories about fictional festive characters getting it on like whaaat." because i totally don't. the story's amazing. but it is slightly weird, but maybe that's part of the charm? pass :/ haha. sorry.
http://www.popnography.com/2009/05/how-gay-is-your-star-trek.html
this made me lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th5UnJPubUo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE9O3oZ6M3g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2j0hCRm8Wo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYWEHOj6IEc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlCnhipYY1Y&feature=channel
i can't remember what each of these are, but they were all in the related links to star trek themed searches. haha. i got freaked, haha. sorry.
right, i'm gonna um, try to get some sleep. night, um, night.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
sometimes the words are worth smiling for.
i met this girl from florida the other day
and the whole room was lit by the smile on her face
but when she turned to me
i could see
that she wasn't there and
she said to me,
"sometimes i feel
like i'm the only one in this world
who understands me".
well, don't give up
and don't give in
they will kill to see you fall
well just hold on
a little longer
and you'll see what you're living for
because
you are someone
you are something
yeah
maybe you'll be everything
to someone.
and i'm sorry that i can't
help you more
but sometimes the words are
worth staying for
so don't let go.
don't let go.
and her parents, yeah
they don't love her enough
to protect from words in her way
and sometimes i think i'll just get on a plane
and take her away
'cause she's too young, she's too small
for you to just break her inside
well,
don't give up
and don't give in
they will kill to see you fall
well just hold on
a little longer
and you'll see what you're living for
because
you are someone
you are something
yeah
maybe you'll be everything
to someone.
and i'm sorry that i can't
help you more
but sometimes the words are
worth staying for
so
don't let go.
don't let go.
and i'm sitting in my bedroom at
half past four wondering
if i could have done more
sometimes it hurts to admit
you've just got to let it go.
a'righhte guys. we have a dilemma. basically my dad is being an arse and is like, not giving me a lift to the manhunt i'm supposed to be going to OR to ely to meet you guys on tuesday. so basically, i have an option. i can either not go to the manhunt and try and get some money for tuesday by either begging my sister for money, or i can spend all of monday busking. theoretically, tuesday is harder to do because it costs more, but we've been planning on doing this for yonks. ): i hate the fact that fucker-man's made our family broke by buying stupid shit. he's such a douche!
and the whole room was lit by the smile on her face
but when she turned to me
i could see
that she wasn't there and
she said to me,
"sometimes i feel
like i'm the only one in this world
who understands me".
well, don't give up
and don't give in
they will kill to see you fall
well just hold on
a little longer
and you'll see what you're living for
because
you are someone
you are something
yeah
maybe you'll be everything
to someone.
and i'm sorry that i can't
help you more
but sometimes the words are
worth staying for
so don't let go.
don't let go.
and her parents, yeah
they don't love her enough
to protect from words in her way
and sometimes i think i'll just get on a plane
and take her away
'cause she's too young, she's too small
for you to just break her inside
well,
don't give up
and don't give in
they will kill to see you fall
well just hold on
a little longer
and you'll see what you're living for
because
you are someone
you are something
yeah
maybe you'll be everything
to someone.
and i'm sorry that i can't
help you more
but sometimes the words are
worth staying for
so
don't let go.
don't let go.
and i'm sitting in my bedroom at
half past four wondering
if i could have done more
sometimes it hurts to admit
you've just got to let it go.
a'righhte guys. we have a dilemma. basically my dad is being an arse and is like, not giving me a lift to the manhunt i'm supposed to be going to OR to ely to meet you guys on tuesday. so basically, i have an option. i can either not go to the manhunt and try and get some money for tuesday by either begging my sister for money, or i can spend all of monday busking. theoretically, tuesday is harder to do because it costs more, but we've been planning on doing this for yonks. ): i hate the fact that fucker-man's made our family broke by buying stupid shit. he's such a douche!
Saturday, 18 July 2009
-
OH MY GOD SO FREAKING CUUUUTEEEEE!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGHdE2L_Uk8&feature=related
THE MALE VERSION OF ME, METHINKS. SEE HOW HE PLAYS GUITAR? YEAH, WE'RE THE ONLY TWO IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I'VE FOUND SO FAR WHO SWING THEIR WHOLE ARM OVER THE BODY OF THE GUITAR. SOULMATES METHINKS. AND THE DANCING??! PFFT! IT'S ME!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGHdE2L_Uk8&feature=related
THE MALE VERSION OF ME, METHINKS. SEE HOW HE PLAYS GUITAR? YEAH, WE'RE THE ONLY TWO IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I'VE FOUND SO FAR WHO SWING THEIR WHOLE ARM OVER THE BODY OF THE GUITAR. SOULMATES METHINKS. AND THE DANCING??! PFFT! IT'S ME!
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Sunday, 12 July 2009
i'm a real big fan of yours
ahoy.
so anyway, i feel quite okay now because i wrote a song about everything and then decided to practice my uke and i'm having a great time of it tbh :D i'm thinking of going busking in ely next saturday/this saturday (however you call it.)
my life is wonderfully undramatic at the moment. y'know the business? i've got people who hate me and others who love me. i'm all good. should be doing my art coursework but shhh (: i haven't actually got that much to do, so it's okay. it's all good.
oh, and ps, i'm wearing my hat today. i haven't worn a hat in yonks. i love them (: this one's blue with flowers on. i'm thinking of wearing it tomorrow + saturday when i go busking =D
t xo
so anyway, i feel quite okay now because i wrote a song about everything and then decided to practice my uke and i'm having a great time of it tbh :D i'm thinking of going busking in ely next saturday/this saturday (however you call it.)
my life is wonderfully undramatic at the moment. y'know the business? i've got people who hate me and others who love me. i'm all good. should be doing my art coursework but shhh (: i haven't actually got that much to do, so it's okay. it's all good.
oh, and ps, i'm wearing my hat today. i haven't worn a hat in yonks. i love them (: this one's blue with flowers on. i'm thinking of wearing it tomorrow + saturday when i go busking =D
t xo
Friday, 3 July 2009
'cause i don't wanna know, if i kissed your lips for the last time
I DO NOT WANT TO READ ANOTHER FLIPPING STORY ABOUT FAERIES, VAMPIRES OR MAGIC! I WATCH TORCHWOOD AND MERLIN AND THAT'S AS CLOSE TO GHOSTY STUFF THAT I WANNA GET!
and don't tell me merlin's lame. merlin and arthur so have it going on.
sprout by dale peck is an amazing book. yusyus, it is.
another good book that i go on about all the time is how they met by david leviathan. i got it in america and it's seriously spiffy. it's basically a collection of short stories about how people meet. not about how their relationship goes or any of that drama, but just simply the meeting.
j'adore, j'adore.
hm. what other books do i like?
ironside, i guess. i liked the development of corny and luis. they're the best characters.
and don't tell me merlin's lame. merlin and arthur so have it going on.
sprout by dale peck is an amazing book. yusyus, it is.
another good book that i go on about all the time is how they met by david leviathan. i got it in america and it's seriously spiffy. it's basically a collection of short stories about how people meet. not about how their relationship goes or any of that drama, but just simply the meeting.
j'adore, j'adore.
hm. what other books do i like?
ironside, i guess. i liked the development of corny and luis. they're the best characters.
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
all this time spent in vain. wasted years, wasted gain.
why can't you just be proud of me?
i've been so so good i have and you're just always there criticising me.
i don't know how to stop disappointing you. i'm so sorry. sorry.
i've been so so good i have and you're just always there criticising me.
i don't know how to stop disappointing you. i'm so sorry. sorry.
Monday, 29 June 2009
Sunday, 28 June 2009
just dress me up in what you want me to be.
-weird mood, warning, weird mood.
so i went to cambridge with dan and jem today. it was good. i enjoyed it. i feel strangely protective of them; they're the two boys who i can piss about with + have a good laugh with. i don't have to worry about whether my shorts are too short (they were and i got perved on but nevermind) and yeah they give me the lowdown on what boys really think and don't give a damn about whether i'm a slut (yes, i do appear to be now) or not. does it make sense when i say that i love them? it's a different kind of love i guess, it's the love i feel towards all you guys who look after me so much and i never thank you for it, sorry, sorry.
i don't know what else to write now ¬¬ haha.
i think i've changed a lot recently. i'm actually trying to stop bitching from here on, i really am. promise. i'm really bad. and i know everyone does it but it's an honestly disgusting part of me and i hate it soooo much.
dad's come home. i know i whine about him a lot and i'm sure he's not that bad really, maybe i'm just overreacting, but i can't stand how he treats us, like we're just there to be hurt. he does it all the time. i just go mute at home. i keep on finding these flaws with every single one of them, how much they hurt me, everything. it's bad i can't eat at home now, means i don't feel safe there and i don't, he scares me. he scares me.
everything scares me. i was talking about it to d yesterday and he said he understood, but i don't know? i agreee sometimes when even i don't understand myself? but it's this overwhelming fear all the time, when i'm close to him what people are thinking of me? how long before he realises just how fucking weird i am? and she's like oh it'll last and i swear to god i want to slap her because like hell these things last. sometimes i think maybe i shouldn't have let myself get close to people because it's inevitable how much i'm going to get hurt before i remember how they treated me and how it felt. i don't want to go back to that, god, i don't. i'm just so scared. i can't stand being in groups bigger than four, can't stand being loud, i worry when my clothes are too short/too low, are they thinking how crap that girl looks when they pass me in the street? when people whistle are they taking the piss? probably? i don't get what he sees in me, he's far better than i am. which kinda sucks, but huh.
friendships they're just burning away like they never sparked in the first place.
after school and he is waiting
trust written into fear
and i am walking towards him
or he's walking over here
towards me i lose it
and i just can't stop myself.
it doesn't solve anything.
well i've kind of written myself off now.
and then it stops
and it has to end anyway.
sometimes i guess things just happen
and they don't have to.
but they do.
and well i guess i know all the reasons
i was holding on too tightly
and then i fell couldn't let go but now i know
this is how it ends.
i made the mistake of looking behind me
when it was really just my head
messing with me making me think
i was seeing someone else instead in
my reflection.
i don't know if i can talk right now.
i think i'll try
but the words won't leave my mouth.
sometimes i guess things just happen
and they don't have to.
but they do.
and well i guess i know all the reasons
i was holding on too tightly
and then i fell couldn't let go but now i know
this is how it ends.
and now i'm running and now i'm trying
to get away from myself
i'm clutching at straws just trying not to
let you put me back on the shelf
because i want this.
i swear.
sometimes i guess things just happen
and they don't have to.
but they do.
and well i guess i know all the reasons
i was holding on too tightly
and then i fell couldn't let go but now i know
this is how it ends.
and you don't know
and you don't try
and you never learn, you never learn.
not your reflection
it's your turn.
so i went to cambridge with dan and jem today. it was good. i enjoyed it. i feel strangely protective of them; they're the two boys who i can piss about with + have a good laugh with. i don't have to worry about whether my shorts are too short (they were and i got perved on but nevermind) and yeah they give me the lowdown on what boys really think and don't give a damn about whether i'm a slut (yes, i do appear to be now) or not. does it make sense when i say that i love them? it's a different kind of love i guess, it's the love i feel towards all you guys who look after me so much and i never thank you for it, sorry, sorry.
i don't know what else to write now ¬¬ haha.
i think i've changed a lot recently. i'm actually trying to stop bitching from here on, i really am. promise. i'm really bad. and i know everyone does it but it's an honestly disgusting part of me and i hate it soooo much.
dad's come home. i know i whine about him a lot and i'm sure he's not that bad really, maybe i'm just overreacting, but i can't stand how he treats us, like we're just there to be hurt. he does it all the time. i just go mute at home. i keep on finding these flaws with every single one of them, how much they hurt me, everything. it's bad i can't eat at home now, means i don't feel safe there and i don't, he scares me. he scares me.
everything scares me. i was talking about it to d yesterday and he said he understood, but i don't know? i agreee sometimes when even i don't understand myself? but it's this overwhelming fear all the time, when i'm close to him what people are thinking of me? how long before he realises just how fucking weird i am? and she's like oh it'll last and i swear to god i want to slap her because like hell these things last. sometimes i think maybe i shouldn't have let myself get close to people because it's inevitable how much i'm going to get hurt before i remember how they treated me and how it felt. i don't want to go back to that, god, i don't. i'm just so scared. i can't stand being in groups bigger than four, can't stand being loud, i worry when my clothes are too short/too low, are they thinking how crap that girl looks when they pass me in the street? when people whistle are they taking the piss? probably? i don't get what he sees in me, he's far better than i am. which kinda sucks, but huh.
friendships they're just burning away like they never sparked in the first place.
after school and he is waiting
trust written into fear
and i am walking towards him
or he's walking over here
towards me i lose it
and i just can't stop myself.
it doesn't solve anything.
well i've kind of written myself off now.
and then it stops
and it has to end anyway.
sometimes i guess things just happen
and they don't have to.
but they do.
and well i guess i know all the reasons
i was holding on too tightly
and then i fell couldn't let go but now i know
this is how it ends.
i made the mistake of looking behind me
when it was really just my head
messing with me making me think
i was seeing someone else instead in
my reflection.
i don't know if i can talk right now.
i think i'll try
but the words won't leave my mouth.
sometimes i guess things just happen
and they don't have to.
but they do.
and well i guess i know all the reasons
i was holding on too tightly
and then i fell couldn't let go but now i know
this is how it ends.
and now i'm running and now i'm trying
to get away from myself
i'm clutching at straws just trying not to
let you put me back on the shelf
because i want this.
i swear.
sometimes i guess things just happen
and they don't have to.
but they do.
and well i guess i know all the reasons
i was holding on too tightly
and then i fell couldn't let go but now i know
this is how it ends.
and you don't know
and you don't try
and you never learn, you never learn.
not your reflection
it's your turn.
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Hey There Oblivious, Where Is Your Happiness?
AHOY!!
Anyway. Today TONIGHT TONIGHTTTT. No. Anyway.
Got into form, licked my Freud book twice to annoy Emma and then licked...what did I lick? I can't remember. And threatened to bite Emma.
Business, Debry called me out about yesterday, bitch, said that my skirt was pretty but not school uni. COnversation was funny.
MD: "I'm not here about that but-"
T "Oh no, it's just because I couldn't find my school skirt. My proper one, y'see."
MD: Right. It's very pretty but-
T : It is, isn't it? Thank you.
MD: What happened yesterday?
T: Well...
And then I had to explain the whole extravaganza to her and at the end she was like "I thought you caught the bus..." And I was so tempted to be like YOUFSCKINIDIOT APPARENTLY NOT! But I didn't. I restrained myself (:
Then Science, there was a sub, so Laura+I sat together and then my nose bled and it looked hideously dramatic. It was AMAZING (:
Thennnn...PE. And I was wearing the shorts AND IF ONE MORE PERSON POINTS OUT THE SPLIT UP THE SIDE, I WILL SCREAM. I DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR KIT, SO SHUSH. Thankyou (:
Ummmmm...English. Deadly dull, but pretty funny tbh.
Joe "You know Jasmine Smith?"
Me "WHich one?"
Joe "Uh....Tall"
Me "Nope
Joe "Short hair?"
Me "Nope."
Joe "Big mole on her face"
Me "OHHH HER!"
And then we had a conversation about how remembering someone by their physical traits isn't a bad thing. It was pretty funny.
Mediaaaa....Went and took some pictures then got back indoors and...Uh.,....Made my film poster. It's good. She said so.
Form, Emma got me to kiss her arm better so I did and it stopped hurting. But Rissa, she did not have the magic kiss! Nope. And then....WHat happened? Oh yeah. The bell went and Chris came to pick me up and we went and hugged for a long time and played Truth and got tutted at by old people until seven.
It was all good.
Anyway. Today TONIGHT TONIGHTTTT. No. Anyway.
Got into form, licked my Freud book twice to annoy Emma and then licked...what did I lick? I can't remember. And threatened to bite Emma.
Business, Debry called me out about yesterday, bitch, said that my skirt was pretty but not school uni. COnversation was funny.
MD: "I'm not here about that but-"
T "Oh no, it's just because I couldn't find my school skirt. My proper one, y'see."
MD: Right. It's very pretty but-
T : It is, isn't it? Thank you.
MD: What happened yesterday?
T: Well...
And then I had to explain the whole extravaganza to her and at the end she was like "I thought you caught the bus..." And I was so tempted to be like YOUFSCKINIDIOT APPARENTLY NOT! But I didn't. I restrained myself (:
Then Science, there was a sub, so Laura+I sat together and then my nose bled and it looked hideously dramatic. It was AMAZING (:
Thennnn...PE. And I was wearing the shorts AND IF ONE MORE PERSON POINTS OUT THE SPLIT UP THE SIDE, I WILL SCREAM. I DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR KIT, SO SHUSH. Thankyou (:
Ummmmm...English. Deadly dull, but pretty funny tbh.
Joe "You know Jasmine Smith?"
Me "WHich one?"
Joe "Uh....Tall"
Me "Nope
Joe "Short hair?"
Me "Nope."
Joe "Big mole on her face"
Me "OHHH HER!"
And then we had a conversation about how remembering someone by their physical traits isn't a bad thing. It was pretty funny.
Mediaaaa....Went and took some pictures then got back indoors and...Uh.,....Made my film poster. It's good. She said so.
Form, Emma got me to kiss her arm better so I did and it stopped hurting. But Rissa, she did not have the magic kiss! Nope. And then....WHat happened? Oh yeah. The bell went and Chris came to pick me up and we went and hugged for a long time and played Truth and got tutted at by old people until seven.
It was all good.
Saturday, 30 May 2009
I Give You My Everything
SO.
How long's it been?
Anyway. An update, yeah?
I'm KNACKERED. Right...I'd best start from like, first Saturday of half term yeeeah.
Saturday: Got up dead early to catch a lift through with my mum to take Lotte to work (I was meeting Sarah+Tom+Chris at Ely Station at like, 10.00). We all met up. Caught the tran JUST IN TIME to Cambridge, where we spent for-fudging-ever walking to the Grafton where we met Carl+Kym. Thennn we went and got our movie tickets for A Night At The Museum 2, and I was like MEGABROKEEE so Chris + Sarah paid which was more than a little embarassing...But anyway, it was good. We went and Sarah + Chris got Shakin' Moos to pass the time. And then shared them with me. They're nice people (: Thennn we watched the film and I sat in between Tom + Chris which was actually dead funny, because they were pointing stuff out to me all the way throughout the movie ('cause I hadn't seen the first one). AND OH YEAH, POINT TO ANYONE, HAVE YOU PAID ATTENTION TO THE ADVERTS ABOUT PEARL AND DEAN? DON'T YOU THINK THEY'RE ALL RELATED? Haha. Thennn we milled around the shops for a little while looking like your standard we-want-to-punch-your-face-in kind of kids before heading over to Jesus Green where we all sat down (: Then Chris, Sarah, Tom + I all caught the train back to cambridge (I can't remember when Zoe turned up throughout the day but she did ;D) and thenn Tom caught his posh taxi back to Littleport, Chris and I walked with Sarah home and then went and talked a bit. (: Was all good.
Sunday: My mum took my dad up to Yorkshire, where he's staying for the next two weeks. At least he's not here to bother us anymore, but he keeps on phoning and being a complete arsehole really. But hey, at least I can't find myself wanting to slap him anymore. Not unless I have reeeeally long hands.
Monday + Tuesday: Were spent with Lotte, just tidying up, cooking, doing the occasional bit of art work/science revision, talking to Chris + people on MSN. My mum came home on Tuesday night which was pretty nice.
Wednesday: Chris + I met up in ...Ely? Yeah. And we walked around in the wind+rain for a bit which was kinda cooooold, haha. But nice. And then I met his parents, who took us through to Cambridge, where we had a meal (very-silent-and-awkward) at Pizza Hut before Chris+I ran away to go see Coraline 3D which is the BEST FREAKIEST FILM EVER!! And then we beat each other up on the way home playing the Yellow Car game which alarmed his parents a little, haha. He was meeeean to wake me up ;D
Thursday: I think I slept like, all day...?
Friday: GRRRR. I WAS SO PISSED OFF. Lotte only told me ON THE WAY to meeting Chris that like, Emma had reminded me about the sleepover on FB. I, being the STUPIDD DUMBASS THAT I AM, left without checking my facebook. ): So I forgot it was on until Tot told me in the car and then I was like, " MUST RING EMMA" before realising that her number was on the phone that's been cut off. AGAIN ): \: Goddammit. But then my mum was like "oh i don't want you walking anywhere in the dark anyway" and "oh you have to do your art studies tomorrow morning anyway!" so I basically sulked on the car ride there which is, as I know, reeeal mature. Any way. We picked up Chris and carried onto Cambridge, which was pretty slick. Then I got my allowance which was like OH THANK GOD because I'm famous for my failures with money (; and Chris+I went to Jesus Green and just played Truth, basically. Then we went to get some lunch, ate it, went to the music shop, went to TopMan + got Chris' hat before heading back to the car, where my mum dropped us at Ely. We basically went + sat outside of the Cathedral and had a grass fight before meeting a load of people and heading down to the Maltings, where we were informed that NO, THEY WERE NOT OPEN YET and so Kirsty, Jade, Chris, me + Laura went and sat by the river. Then we went back to the gig, bought our tickets, watched all of the bands...Littlest Things were the best, in my opinion. They were pretty darn good (Y) but the rest was sometimes like "ARGHHH EARDRUM RAPE" and I was pretty knackered anyway + all coughy with hayfever. But yeah. My mum stopped off at Tesco on the way home + picked me up some tablets so all is well (Y) Um...Yeah. Then I went straight to bed when I got in.
Saturday: My mum woke me up dead early before saying "actually you're not ready, stay here" and I wound up staying at home until like 1, when I saved a duck on the road (Y) and we went to Cambridge. I got a new copy of Frankenstein because I gave Brendon my old one and a book on Freud's Interpretation of Dreams. SLICK. Then, we went to the Fitzwilliam and I did some sketches, bought some postcards to draw from + stick in and then we headed home.
Which is where I am now.
EMMA, I am TRULY AND UTTELY SORRY about the sleepover situation, I sincerely hope that your father does not hate me ): I am hopeful that I will be allowed to have a sleepover so, seeing how I promised you like 6666666 months ago, maybe you could stay around? That'd be neat, seeing how my dad's in Yorkshire for the next couple of weeks or so.
JAZZ, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, THE ART HOMEWORK WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT, IS TO RESEARCH AN ARTIST LISTED IN CLASS. NOW, YOU WEREN'T HERE DURING THE LESSONS, BUT IF YOU WANT TO AVOID MS NUTGENS BITCHING, THE ARTIST I'M RESEARCHING IS CALLED PIERRE AUGUSTE RENOIR. MAYBE YOU COULD DO HIM AS WELL? THE HOMEWORK IS BASICALLY TO RESEARCH HIS STYLE, BUT I THINK IT SAYS THAT ON THE SHEET? YOU KNOW, THE REALLY COOL CRITERIA SHEET? YEAH, THAT ONE!
SARAH, I have no thrilling notices here for you but the other day I watched Order of the Phoenix. How neat was that? But now I want to write fanfiction again.
Right, I'd best get back to Freud My Homeboy. He's ranting about the Oedipus Complex again. Something about little boys wanting to bum their mothers...This whole post is vaguely reminiscent of Feeling Sorry For Celia...
How long's it been?
Anyway. An update, yeah?
I'm KNACKERED. Right...I'd best start from like, first Saturday of half term yeeeah.
Saturday: Got up dead early to catch a lift through with my mum to take Lotte to work (I was meeting Sarah+Tom+Chris at Ely Station at like, 10.00). We all met up. Caught the tran JUST IN TIME to Cambridge, where we spent for-fudging-ever walking to the Grafton where we met Carl+Kym. Thennn we went and got our movie tickets for A Night At The Museum 2, and I was like MEGABROKEEE so Chris + Sarah paid which was more than a little embarassing...But anyway, it was good. We went and Sarah + Chris got Shakin' Moos to pass the time. And then shared them with me. They're nice people (: Thennn we watched the film and I sat in between Tom + Chris which was actually dead funny, because they were pointing stuff out to me all the way throughout the movie ('cause I hadn't seen the first one). AND OH YEAH, POINT TO ANYONE, HAVE YOU PAID ATTENTION TO THE ADVERTS ABOUT PEARL AND DEAN? DON'T YOU THINK THEY'RE ALL RELATED? Haha. Thennn we milled around the shops for a little while looking like your standard we-want-to-punch-your-face-in kind of kids before heading over to Jesus Green where we all sat down (: Then Chris, Sarah, Tom + I all caught the train back to cambridge (I can't remember when Zoe turned up throughout the day but she did ;D) and thenn Tom caught his posh taxi back to Littleport, Chris and I walked with Sarah home and then went and talked a bit. (: Was all good.
Sunday: My mum took my dad up to Yorkshire, where he's staying for the next two weeks. At least he's not here to bother us anymore, but he keeps on phoning and being a complete arsehole really. But hey, at least I can't find myself wanting to slap him anymore. Not unless I have reeeeally long hands.
Monday + Tuesday: Were spent with Lotte, just tidying up, cooking, doing the occasional bit of art work/science revision, talking to Chris + people on MSN. My mum came home on Tuesday night which was pretty nice.
Wednesday: Chris + I met up in ...Ely? Yeah. And we walked around in the wind+rain for a bit which was kinda cooooold, haha. But nice. And then I met his parents, who took us through to Cambridge, where we had a meal (very-silent-and-awkward) at Pizza Hut before Chris+I ran away to go see Coraline 3D which is the BEST FREAKIEST FILM EVER!! And then we beat each other up on the way home playing the Yellow Car game which alarmed his parents a little, haha. He was meeeean to wake me up ;D
Thursday: I think I slept like, all day...?
Friday: GRRRR. I WAS SO PISSED OFF. Lotte only told me ON THE WAY to meeting Chris that like, Emma had reminded me about the sleepover on FB. I, being the STUPIDD DUMBASS THAT I AM, left without checking my facebook. ): So I forgot it was on until Tot told me in the car and then I was like, " MUST RING EMMA" before realising that her number was on the phone that's been cut off. AGAIN ): \: Goddammit. But then my mum was like "oh i don't want you walking anywhere in the dark anyway" and "oh you have to do your art studies tomorrow morning anyway!" so I basically sulked on the car ride there which is, as I know, reeeal mature. Any way. We picked up Chris and carried onto Cambridge, which was pretty slick. Then I got my allowance which was like OH THANK GOD because I'm famous for my failures with money (; and Chris+I went to Jesus Green and just played Truth, basically. Then we went to get some lunch, ate it, went to the music shop, went to TopMan + got Chris' hat before heading back to the car, where my mum dropped us at Ely. We basically went + sat outside of the Cathedral and had a grass fight before meeting a load of people and heading down to the Maltings, where we were informed that NO, THEY WERE NOT OPEN YET and so Kirsty, Jade, Chris, me + Laura went and sat by the river. Then we went back to the gig, bought our tickets, watched all of the bands...Littlest Things were the best, in my opinion. They were pretty darn good (Y) but the rest was sometimes like "ARGHHH EARDRUM RAPE" and I was pretty knackered anyway + all coughy with hayfever. But yeah. My mum stopped off at Tesco on the way home + picked me up some tablets so all is well (Y) Um...Yeah. Then I went straight to bed when I got in.
Saturday: My mum woke me up dead early before saying "actually you're not ready, stay here" and I wound up staying at home until like 1, when I saved a duck on the road (Y) and we went to Cambridge. I got a new copy of Frankenstein because I gave Brendon my old one and a book on Freud's Interpretation of Dreams. SLICK. Then, we went to the Fitzwilliam and I did some sketches, bought some postcards to draw from + stick in and then we headed home.
Which is where I am now.
EMMA, I am TRULY AND UTTELY SORRY about the sleepover situation, I sincerely hope that your father does not hate me ): I am hopeful that I will be allowed to have a sleepover so, seeing how I promised you like 6666666 months ago, maybe you could stay around? That'd be neat, seeing how my dad's in Yorkshire for the next couple of weeks or so.
JAZZ, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, THE ART HOMEWORK WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT, IS TO RESEARCH AN ARTIST LISTED IN CLASS. NOW, YOU WEREN'T HERE DURING THE LESSONS, BUT IF YOU WANT TO AVOID MS NUTGENS BITCHING, THE ARTIST I'M RESEARCHING IS CALLED PIERRE AUGUSTE RENOIR. MAYBE YOU COULD DO HIM AS WELL? THE HOMEWORK IS BASICALLY TO RESEARCH HIS STYLE, BUT I THINK IT SAYS THAT ON THE SHEET? YOU KNOW, THE REALLY COOL CRITERIA SHEET? YEAH, THAT ONE!
SARAH, I have no thrilling notices here for you but the other day I watched Order of the Phoenix. How neat was that? But now I want to write fanfiction again.
Right, I'd best get back to Freud My Homeboy. He's ranting about the Oedipus Complex again. Something about little boys wanting to bum their mothers...This whole post is vaguely reminiscent of Feeling Sorry For Celia...
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
if i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
Narcolepsy is a chronic sleep disorder (a dyssomnia) characterized by overwhelming drowsiness and sudden attacks of sleep. The condition is most characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS), in which a person experiences extreme tiredness and possibly falls asleep during inappropriate times, such as at work or school. A narcoleptic will most probably experience disturbed nocturnal sleep, which is often confused with insomnia, and disorder of REM or rapid eye movement sleep.
Um.
Um.
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
i wait to explode
----------------
Now playing: E For Explosion - I Explode
via FoxyTunes
I have to go to the Howdale again. I'm sick of this stupid thing, I'm sick of all of it. I want to sleep, I want to be able to eat without mentally processing how long I have to exercise just to not feel guilty. I'm tired.
----------------
Now playing: The Exies - Ugly
via FoxyTunes
I'm not in a bad mood. I used today wisely; I slept and then had a look through my Science notes. The exam tomorrow's totally freaking me out. I know that I did well on the Mock, and that I really should/should have told my parents about the actual GCSE tomorrow, but I don't want them knowing.
Someone once told me I push everyone away when I'm scared they're getting too close and I don't know, but they're probably right. I'm more bitter recently, but maybe I'm just getting more mature. I'm hopeful though, and that's got to count for something.
So, more of my thoughts, I suppose.
I dislike people who fish for compliments. They'll criticize their appearance ("Oh! I'm so fat!") and then go and scoff food. Maybe it's this thing talking, I don't know.
----------------
Now playing: Damien Rice - Lonelily (Original Demo)
via FoxyTunes
It seemed to warp my opinion of everyone and everything. Everyone I know seems tainted now somehow, and I'm just trying to find out the good part of them before it's too late. Conversation's growing short, and the silence is making the air taut with nervousness.
----------------
Now playing: Spill Canvas - All Over You
via FoxyTunes
I'm so desperate to be someone, to be something that I'm not really paying attention to the now. I need this, I want this. All those other five-hotshot-minute wonders, they're nothing. I've wanted this for so long. I'm not the pathetic "I want to influence the world!" girl, I want the rush, I want the fucking thrill that I seem to get so rarely.
Now playing: E For Explosion - I Explode
via FoxyTunes
I have to go to the Howdale again. I'm sick of this stupid thing, I'm sick of all of it. I want to sleep, I want to be able to eat without mentally processing how long I have to exercise just to not feel guilty. I'm tired.
----------------
Now playing: The Exies - Ugly
via FoxyTunes
I'm not in a bad mood. I used today wisely; I slept and then had a look through my Science notes. The exam tomorrow's totally freaking me out. I know that I did well on the Mock, and that I really should/should have told my parents about the actual GCSE tomorrow, but I don't want them knowing.
Someone once told me I push everyone away when I'm scared they're getting too close and I don't know, but they're probably right. I'm more bitter recently, but maybe I'm just getting more mature. I'm hopeful though, and that's got to count for something.
So, more of my thoughts, I suppose.
I dislike people who fish for compliments. They'll criticize their appearance ("Oh! I'm so fat!") and then go and scoff food. Maybe it's this thing talking, I don't know.
----------------
Now playing: Damien Rice - Lonelily (Original Demo)
via FoxyTunes
It seemed to warp my opinion of everyone and everything. Everyone I know seems tainted now somehow, and I'm just trying to find out the good part of them before it's too late. Conversation's growing short, and the silence is making the air taut with nervousness.
----------------
Now playing: Spill Canvas - All Over You
via FoxyTunes
I'm so desperate to be someone, to be something that I'm not really paying attention to the now. I need this, I want this. All those other five-hotshot-minute wonders, they're nothing. I've wanted this for so long. I'm not the pathetic "I want to influence the world!" girl, I want the rush, I want the fucking thrill that I seem to get so rarely.
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
yes, it really really really could happen.
----------------
Now playing: Elliot Minor - Time After Time
via FoxyTunes
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. Like, loads I mean. I've never been particularly fond of your average "This-is-what-I-did-today" spoonfeed blogs, so I guess I should probably write about this kind of shizz.
I don't think I'm going to get any different from who I am now, to be honest. I can be selfish, self-centered and even kind of manipulative, but...I don't know. I never seem to dwell on my good points. So here they are, I guess. I'm stubborn, good at keeping secrets and able to think things through.
You know? I know it's silly to not want to talk to people over than the ones I'm really close to. And I'm not really all that close to anyone, save for Laura. She's my BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF (: Haha, jokes in Media Studies.
----------------
Now playing: Elliot Minor - Parallel Worlds
via FoxyTunes
This isn't directed at anyone in particular. I've learned recently that you have to make a kind of disclaimer, or else people always get suspicious, which is actually rather silly. I can't stand being too close to anyone. It's not anything in particular, it's just that I can only have people I totally love actually be close to me. Those people include Laura, George, my mum, Jeremy and Eric right now. And I don't mean love like that, necessarily. Oh, and Kirsty. They're the only people I can actually stand to have really close to me. Other people, it's like a ... I can't think of the word for it.
----------------
Now playing: Elliot Minor - The White One Is Evil
via FoxyTunes
Defence mechanism, I suppose you could say. I can't stand sitting exactly next to someone, neither can I stand being opposite them. If people reach out to touch me or hug me, I immediately flinch/stiffen. I wish that people would understand, it's not that I'm sad. It's not even that I'm annoyed with them or don't like them, it's just that I just feel...sick, I suppose. I can't look people in the eyes, and I can't stand being stared at. I like linger-glances from boys in the street, as vain as that sounds. But you know? Yeah. I just can't stand being stared at.
----------------
Now playing: Elliot Minor - The Liar Is You
via FoxyTunes
I can't stand it when people talk about my life all disapproving like. I mean..."Oh, you're always off! The slightest sniffle, I cope with everything." Again, this isn't anyone in particular. Look, I know I get ill a lot. But really, I know you're just joking, but stop it. It doesn't affect you in particular. It's not like I'm planning to marry you and then turning up at the altar and saying "I'm ill". So just...ARGH! Please.
I can't stand it when you can feel friendships breaking apart at your fingertips and there's nothing that you can do.
----------------
Now playing: E For Explosion - I Explode
via FoxyTunes
It's like...There's a point where you have to say "It's not me who's changing, is it?" and you know it's right. But it still hurts like hell. There's a point where conversation runs out, where silences are awkward and meetings only prove difficulties. I can't stand MSN anymore; it seems like I can't trust my own words not to betray me.
I don't understand why you're doing this. I get that you feel secure with him, but you're being hypocritical. It's not fair of you to be all "He's breaking my heart!" and then say "Well, actually, I'm not breaking up with him". I know that you said all of that, I just can't stand that you can be so...shallow. You've really changed.
I've come to realise many things recently. One, of which: it does not matter how the person themselves feel if you supposedly "love" someone. It's not love to want to have someone for yourself, to want to possess them. That's a craving for dominance. Neither is it "love" to cling to someone who shows you affection. I think...I can't lecture on this. But I know what it should be. Love should be not caring if they're with someone else. It should be hurting like hell because they're in love with someone else, or feeling on top of the world because you're just so happy that they're in your life. Wanting to possess someone for yourself, that's not right. And it never will be. That way only leads pain. Stop automatically correllating the word "love" with "relationship". That way shows folly.
Having said that, I'm actually beginning to really like Eric. I don't want people to automatically think of me as an idiot because I go to a different school than him, or for people to think I'm one of those girls automatically falling for any guy older than her who shows her interest. Yeah, I got to know him because I was flattered he thought I was attractive. But...I don't know. I'm quite happy doing things slowly.
So, basically, to conclude, I'm beginning to see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It doesn't matter how much you're hurting inside if you can help others. And we're all human. It's our nature to be selfish.
I'm...sorry if I seem sad when I'm quiet. Sometimes I just have nothing to say. It's nothing to do with the company or anything. Sometimes I'm just very busy thinking.
Now playing: Elliot Minor - Time After Time
via FoxyTunes
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. Like, loads I mean. I've never been particularly fond of your average "This-is-what-I-did-today" spoonfeed blogs, so I guess I should probably write about this kind of shizz.
I don't think I'm going to get any different from who I am now, to be honest. I can be selfish, self-centered and even kind of manipulative, but...I don't know. I never seem to dwell on my good points. So here they are, I guess. I'm stubborn, good at keeping secrets and able to think things through.
You know? I know it's silly to not want to talk to people over than the ones I'm really close to. And I'm not really all that close to anyone, save for Laura. She's my BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF (: Haha, jokes in Media Studies.
----------------
Now playing: Elliot Minor - Parallel Worlds
via FoxyTunes
This isn't directed at anyone in particular. I've learned recently that you have to make a kind of disclaimer, or else people always get suspicious, which is actually rather silly. I can't stand being too close to anyone. It's not anything in particular, it's just that I can only have people I totally love actually be close to me. Those people include Laura, George, my mum, Jeremy and Eric right now. And I don't mean love like that, necessarily. Oh, and Kirsty. They're the only people I can actually stand to have really close to me. Other people, it's like a ... I can't think of the word for it.
----------------
Now playing: Elliot Minor - The White One Is Evil
via FoxyTunes
Defence mechanism, I suppose you could say. I can't stand sitting exactly next to someone, neither can I stand being opposite them. If people reach out to touch me or hug me, I immediately flinch/stiffen. I wish that people would understand, it's not that I'm sad. It's not even that I'm annoyed with them or don't like them, it's just that I just feel...sick, I suppose. I can't look people in the eyes, and I can't stand being stared at. I like linger-glances from boys in the street, as vain as that sounds. But you know? Yeah. I just can't stand being stared at.
----------------
Now playing: Elliot Minor - The Liar Is You
via FoxyTunes
I can't stand it when people talk about my life all disapproving like. I mean..."Oh, you're always off! The slightest sniffle, I cope with everything." Again, this isn't anyone in particular. Look, I know I get ill a lot. But really, I know you're just joking, but stop it. It doesn't affect you in particular. It's not like I'm planning to marry you and then turning up at the altar and saying "I'm ill". So just...ARGH! Please.
I can't stand it when you can feel friendships breaking apart at your fingertips and there's nothing that you can do.
----------------
Now playing: E For Explosion - I Explode
via FoxyTunes
It's like...There's a point where you have to say "It's not me who's changing, is it?" and you know it's right. But it still hurts like hell. There's a point where conversation runs out, where silences are awkward and meetings only prove difficulties. I can't stand MSN anymore; it seems like I can't trust my own words not to betray me.
I don't understand why you're doing this. I get that you feel secure with him, but you're being hypocritical. It's not fair of you to be all "He's breaking my heart!" and then say "Well, actually, I'm not breaking up with him". I know that you said all of that, I just can't stand that you can be so...shallow. You've really changed.
I've come to realise many things recently. One, of which: it does not matter how the person themselves feel if you supposedly "love" someone. It's not love to want to have someone for yourself, to want to possess them. That's a craving for dominance. Neither is it "love" to cling to someone who shows you affection. I think...I can't lecture on this. But I know what it should be. Love should be not caring if they're with someone else. It should be hurting like hell because they're in love with someone else, or feeling on top of the world because you're just so happy that they're in your life. Wanting to possess someone for yourself, that's not right. And it never will be. That way only leads pain. Stop automatically correllating the word "love" with "relationship". That way shows folly.
Having said that, I'm actually beginning to really like Eric. I don't want people to automatically think of me as an idiot because I go to a different school than him, or for people to think I'm one of those girls automatically falling for any guy older than her who shows her interest. Yeah, I got to know him because I was flattered he thought I was attractive. But...I don't know. I'm quite happy doing things slowly.
So, basically, to conclude, I'm beginning to see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It doesn't matter how much you're hurting inside if you can help others. And we're all human. It's our nature to be selfish.
I'm...sorry if I seem sad when I'm quiet. Sometimes I just have nothing to say. It's nothing to do with the company or anything. Sometimes I'm just very busy thinking.
Saturday, 9 May 2009
how long before you let me go?
----------------
Now playing: Muse - Supermassive Black Hole
via FoxyTunes
Yay! Went busking today, it was preeeetty good fun. I got absolutely knackered though! I tend to completeeeely wear myself out sometimes and then I'll be like TILLY YOU FUDGEPACKERRRR!!!!
I dyed my hair a couple of nights ago: nothing too drastic, just returning to my lighter blonde. I like it (: Um....I cannae think of what to write here...I've got a load of new story ideas, which should be fun to write!
----------------
Now playing: Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody
via FoxyTunes
Sarah found me this awesomeeeee program called FoxyTunes. It's pretty helpful (:
I met this guy a few weeks ago, he's pretty nice tbh.
----------------
Now playing: Carrie Underwood - Last Name
via FoxyTunes
Who can tellllllll about things though?
----------------
Now playing: Go Audio - Drive To The City
via FoxyTunes
OHMYGOD FISHTANK MAN IS FARKIIIING AMAAAAZING....>!!!
EricErciEricEricEriccccccccc (: Get your arse onto Facebook! Then again, I guess you guys do have your GCSEs in like, a week ;0 Sorry!!
Now playing: Muse - Supermassive Black Hole
via FoxyTunes
Yay! Went busking today, it was preeeetty good fun. I got absolutely knackered though! I tend to completeeeely wear myself out sometimes and then I'll be like TILLY YOU FUDGEPACKERRRR!!!!
I dyed my hair a couple of nights ago: nothing too drastic, just returning to my lighter blonde. I like it (: Um....I cannae think of what to write here...I've got a load of new story ideas, which should be fun to write!
----------------
Now playing: Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody
via FoxyTunes
Sarah found me this awesomeeeee program called FoxyTunes. It's pretty helpful (:
I met this guy a few weeks ago, he's pretty nice tbh.
----------------
Now playing: Carrie Underwood - Last Name
via FoxyTunes
Who can tellllllll about things though?
----------------
Now playing: Go Audio - Drive To The City
via FoxyTunes
OHMYGOD FISHTANK MAN IS FARKIIIING AMAAAAZING....>!!!
EricErciEricEricEriccccccccc (: Get your arse onto Facebook! Then again, I guess you guys do have your GCSEs in like, a week ;0 Sorry!!
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
you could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day.
I'd like to know who's been saying this, thanks. And yeah, I'm not letting it go. Because I don't fucking NEED this right now, okay?
You, boyo, don't even know me. We've had one conversation. You're a fucking arserimming bollock-sucking WANKER, got it? You're in ONE of my classes. Don't presume to know me. Fudgepacker.
Basically, if no one actually tells me the fucking truth about my own life RIGHT NOW, I'm getting really angry. Because my life is complicated enough. I don't need teenage rumours as well.
You, boyo, don't even know me. We've had one conversation. You're a fucking arserimming bollock-sucking WANKER, got it? You're in ONE of my classes. Don't presume to know me. Fudgepacker.
Basically, if no one actually tells me the fucking truth about my own life RIGHT NOW, I'm getting really angry. Because my life is complicated enough. I don't need teenage rumours as well.
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
Do You Know, It Was Love From The First Time We Touched?
I'm like all the other cool kids, I'm in love with NeverShoutNever (: He's amazing.
I'm going to be cryptic, okay? Only Sarah's going to know what I'm going on about. And that's okay with me.
I'm scared. And I know it sounds silly. I know it does. I'm slapping myself for it.
Today was great (: Thank you for talking with me. It was immense. And yes, I will go shopping with you anytime you want. And I don't care what you want to try on, and I will gladly tell you what looks silly.
Pinkie-promise.
I don't know what I feel is. Happy, I suppose. And scared. But y'know. It's okay. I'm okay.
I'm going to be cryptic, okay? Only Sarah's going to know what I'm going on about. And that's okay with me.
I'm scared. And I know it sounds silly. I know it does. I'm slapping myself for it.
Today was great (: Thank you for talking with me. It was immense. And yes, I will go shopping with you anytime you want. And I don't care what you want to try on, and I will gladly tell you what looks silly.
Pinkie-promise.
I don't know what I feel is. Happy, I suppose. And scared. But y'know. It's okay. I'm okay.
Monday, 20 April 2009
I'm Going In For The Kill
Blame Emma for the title.
I can't remember how I blog on this blog. I think I'm the subsequent epitome of delusional grandeur and wit, but that could just be me. (No. I don't. Shush.)
Fiddlesticks. Just remembered I've done about a paragraph of my R & J essay. Crumbs.
I think I'm changing a little. I'm going to post my display picture as an example.
It won't work. Fail.
I can't remember how I blog on this blog. I think I'm the subsequent epitome of delusional grandeur and wit, but that could just be me. (No. I don't. Shush.)
Fiddlesticks. Just remembered I've done about a paragraph of my R & J essay. Crumbs.
I think I'm changing a little. I'm going to post my display picture as an example.
It won't work. Fail.
Sunday, 5 April 2009
And The Words, They're Everything And Nothing.
So, y'know, it's a blog. Get in there.
i was on dictionary.com earlier. i like words. i'm going to write down some of my favourite ones, i think. i've been looking through all of my books earlier and i found this one called the world's most comprehensive dictionary. it has different definitions for all these words.
catastrophe - feline punctuation.
aha.
i'm a cautious person naturally - i have no intention or desire to look like anyone or anything. i have some opinions, but i'd rather not say what they are. i think it's pretentious to claim you're not something and try to act like something else deliberately. i could say i'm not an indie kid, and someone could argue, "well, yes, you are. you dress like it + act like it." i'd rather say, "i don't think of myself as anything, especially not an indie kid." i'm not anything, but i could be something. could. i'm not a name, i'm not an anything. i'm barely myself. i'm not a "tilly", my own name sounds foreign upon paper.
i dislike people who feel that they have to repeat themselves to make their point clear. i could say, "i love you, and i hate it because i want to hate you" but there'd be no point. it wouldn't change how i feel or how i act. i'd like to just drop the subject of him. even if there was a chance like he or they consider there to be, i'm not that low. i have my pride.
grandiloquent
debauchery
troglodyte
nonchalence
perturbation
despondance
enamoured
suspended
effulgent
incandescent
auspicious
propituous
sanguine
itinerant
reticence
overawe
extinguished
altercation
fragmentary
if i could, i'd list all the words in the world for you. i'll suffice with your words.
susceptible, diffident, refrain, alleviation, abhorrence.
i was on dictionary.com earlier. i like words. i'm going to write down some of my favourite ones, i think. i've been looking through all of my books earlier and i found this one called the world's most comprehensive dictionary. it has different definitions for all these words.
catastrophe - feline punctuation.
aha.
i'm a cautious person naturally - i have no intention or desire to look like anyone or anything. i have some opinions, but i'd rather not say what they are. i think it's pretentious to claim you're not something and try to act like something else deliberately. i could say i'm not an indie kid, and someone could argue, "well, yes, you are. you dress like it + act like it." i'd rather say, "i don't think of myself as anything, especially not an indie kid." i'm not anything, but i could be something. could. i'm not a name, i'm not an anything. i'm barely myself. i'm not a "tilly", my own name sounds foreign upon paper.
i dislike people who feel that they have to repeat themselves to make their point clear. i could say, "i love you, and i hate it because i want to hate you" but there'd be no point. it wouldn't change how i feel or how i act. i'd like to just drop the subject of him. even if there was a chance like he or they consider there to be, i'm not that low. i have my pride.
grandiloquent
debauchery
troglodyte
nonchalence
perturbation
despondance
enamoured
suspended
effulgent
incandescent
auspicious
propituous
sanguine
itinerant
reticence
overawe
extinguished
altercation
fragmentary
if i could, i'd list all the words in the world for you. i'll suffice with your words.
susceptible, diffident, refrain, alleviation, abhorrence.
with your fake smile.
i want to ramble.
i don't think there's any point in these things tbh. i write what i think, someone gets hurt, it's all a load of codswallop. there'd be no point writing how i think/feel every second of the day, because how am i supposed to remember that? i can barely remember the activities of a day.
so. i'm writing this. i don't care what people comment on it, because i'm not replying. it's how i feel and how i think.
things have gotten harder recently. i've always prided myself on making myself cope, through whatever. i detest how i think and feel, like i always have it worst. because i don't. and i need to get over that. i need to get over feeling insecure just because someone doesn't talk to me, etc. ridiculous.
i have no heroes. as far as i can tell, we're all the same around here. we screw up, we get better, we die. the end. i don't believe in heaven or hell, and i certainly don't agree with the theory of christians being on a higher moral ground to non-christians. i'm not going to suffer some painful fate just because someone says i am. go away already. i have no desire to be part of your "community", as shallow and self-deprecating as it is. why should i have to wear a skirt and blouse just to sing something that doesn't seem right? i commit sins, alright, but i'm proud of them. i wouldn't be where i was if i hadn't done everything i have done.
i want to catch a train to get away from all of this. everyone, everything. i don't want to see anyone right now, and i really don't want to talk to them. it's nothing personal, i just like being private. i've told too many people about myself. how pathetic.
i don't think there's any point in these things tbh. i write what i think, someone gets hurt, it's all a load of codswallop. there'd be no point writing how i think/feel every second of the day, because how am i supposed to remember that? i can barely remember the activities of a day.
so. i'm writing this. i don't care what people comment on it, because i'm not replying. it's how i feel and how i think.
things have gotten harder recently. i've always prided myself on making myself cope, through whatever. i detest how i think and feel, like i always have it worst. because i don't. and i need to get over that. i need to get over feeling insecure just because someone doesn't talk to me, etc. ridiculous.
i have no heroes. as far as i can tell, we're all the same around here. we screw up, we get better, we die. the end. i don't believe in heaven or hell, and i certainly don't agree with the theory of christians being on a higher moral ground to non-christians. i'm not going to suffer some painful fate just because someone says i am. go away already. i have no desire to be part of your "community", as shallow and self-deprecating as it is. why should i have to wear a skirt and blouse just to sing something that doesn't seem right? i commit sins, alright, but i'm proud of them. i wouldn't be where i was if i hadn't done everything i have done.
i want to catch a train to get away from all of this. everyone, everything. i don't want to see anyone right now, and i really don't want to talk to them. it's nothing personal, i just like being private. i've told too many people about myself. how pathetic.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
